Losing Grip

Help me find a way
for the things i have done
losing grip

So many thins I've said
have gotten into your head
losing grip again

trying to figure out why i dam doing this
why am i hurting you like this
losing grip once more

your gettin upset
i can see i'm doing damage
i'll give myself one more chance. i'm hanging by a thread.

i've finally snapped. i've got you trapped
you'll leave me
i've finally lost grip .....

Memories Of Your Warmth.....

I lay on my cold bed,
recalling when she said,
"I love you."

Now I sit at home,
a lovesick clone.
Then my lips move, and i say,
"I love you."

The memory of her smell
reminds me of hell,
but at the same time,
I love her.

Her eyes were so blue,
when our love was new.
I love her.

And even though she walked out;
I still think about
those memories of warmth.....


"This Pain has my blood,i hope you are happy"

I wish to be Your lover...

If I wrote you a lullaby with verses of moonlit, fogged breath and a chorus of heartbeats- would you fall asleep with our melody in your palms?

I lie awake at night and watch traffic lights outside my window shout RED into the peace quiet and occasional hazy rev of traffic. I lie awake and shiver through layers and wish to silent stars it wasn’t winter, wish the nighttime cool wouldn’t paint quite so many goose bumps on my skin and make my eyelids so cold. I lie awake at night and night-dream without sleep- about you and all your eyelashes and beautiful wordings.

I like the way your collarbone lies horizontally beneath your neck, resting on light shoulders. God must have hidden it beneath your peach skin in a hurry, because with hurried hands he didn’t push it in quite far enough. I imagine him assembling you, I envisage your organs and elongated limbs before you were in a single piece, a mess-heap of portions and parts of beautiful. I would have liked to build you up myself, just to step back and inflatedly grin at my artwork.

I make a habit of closing my eyes before I come too close, your eyes send me into a dangerous euphoria . I wonder if you notice, I wonder if you wonder if I notice the way you smile too often, don’t get enough sleep and eat too much sugar.

I write you love letters in my mind, and when I try to recite them, all I can do is speak cloudily with made-up words that mean things I can’t quite say; in awe of everything that is you, and everything that is possibly, probably, wishfully and longingly us.

If you were the moon I’d be nighttime’s navy breath in your craters. If you were the sand I’d be the rolling waves submerging every golden grain of you. If you were a heart I’d be the encasing ribcage and the hot blood in your arteries. If you were allow, I’d be your lover.

Fade Away...

Whispering your last goodbye as you let go of my hand
A stabbing pain swept over me, a pain I could not stand
Unable to hold back the tears forming on the brim of my eyes
Could no longer look at you, so I turned my head to the skies
Praying for the rain to fall, and wash away these unwanted tears
Waiting for the rain to come, and sweep me away from here

So I watched silently as your footsteps got smaller and smaller
And I watched hopelessly as your shadow grew taller and taller
As I clung on to your shadow in an attempt to hold you back
I am sadly only reminded of the strengths I had once lacked
I wanted to tell you to stay because I still need you by my side
But once again my true feelings are hindered by my foolish pride

So unwillingly I watched your silhouette slowly fade away
And reluctantly I let my heart die and gradually decay
But at last, reality sets in, and I wipe away these useless tears
Finally realizing I can't sit here drowning in self pity as you disappear
So I gathered my last ounce of courage and I raced after you
Only to find that you are already gone and no longer within view

Angel Tears

For My Dying Love...

Every time you touch me,
It leaves a burning mark.
And so my dying love,
We shall touch no more.

I have to let it go,
All the promises I will never fulfill.
The lie that I decided to believe will evaporate,
And I will breathe the fresh air of truth.

You will be a widow to my love,
Unchained from the aching commitments.
You will not feast on my lies anymore,
Stepping proudly out, into the light.

We should have loved till eternity,
But time caught up with us.
Forever is now,
And now is over.

I now stand tall,
Looking down on a poor soul.
Locked in what used to be heaven,
Looking at what used to be me.

Now, kiss me goodbye,
And accept these withered flowers.
The flowers and this song are for you,
My dying love.

Forget You...

It will be easy to forget you...
I just can't look to the sky
or even remember the sea...
I'll just have to stop dreaming
and learn how to be alone...
I know I'll forget you..
I just can't remember your smile..
your beautiful eyes,
your sweet mouth...
I can do it,
I know I can...
I just can't look to anything,
I just can't remember,
I just can't live...
or love...
I'll forget how important you are on my life...
I'll just have to forget myself...

Neurotic Indisposition...

Breaking lights of darkness in the distance,
Flickering apologetic words,
Subconsciously passive, last resistance
I just want to atomize, shatter out of consistence
Flying into heavens like a flock of birds.

Counting down nanoseconds of my toll.
Tracing down the lines of existence
And these words of wisdom overdue for all
It is far too late for heavenly assistance,
When my sins accounted for the ending goal

Body’s rusting in the rain,
I am trying to forget and be forgotten.
Something clawing from the inside at my brain,
Something ghastly, dark and rotten.

Hear me and thus accept my flesh
Take my eyes so I can see again
Maybe then I can no longer be forsaken
Maybe then I can awaken,
Start my life anew, afresh...

Fallen Angel II

Fallen Angel
Crawling in my forlorn appearance
I hide my soul behind these tattered wings
Tattered and broken as they are
Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.

In quiet despair upon the cold earth
Smeared in dirt I crouch upon my weary knees
And clutched timidly between my fingers
Rests one last jewel of Hope.

A single unblemished plume plucked
From the silver light of dawn
A feathered ray of light from beyond
To illuminate the void that has me bound.

This precious barb of silk
Once lost as I was and forgotten
Blazes now to immerse me in radiant bliss
To wash away the pain, draw me from the abyss.

So now I fade away…
My tender flesh removed
My shattered wings released
My inner light unsheathed… escapes....



"An angel who turned from the light now embraces it in death"